Keeping the Joy

Last week's blog was about inviting peace into your life. This week is about keeping it and adding joy.

• Think positive. This often takes a conscious choice because our natural warning system kicks in quickly with the negatives. Pay attention to these--they will keep coming back if you don't! But then, but you canusually choose to think positively instead.
• Be grateful. Wake up and go to sleep counting your blessings. This causes your body to secrete those wonderful feel good hormones and give you a healthy high. No matter how bad things are, you can likely find something to be grateful for. And, by the way, you don't have to have anything specific! Your body responds to just "feeling grateful" just as it does to feeling grateful about a specific thing.
• Reframe. Don't just be grateful for the obvious things. Reframe your tragedies into blessings as well. For example, when I lost my kneecap in an auto accident, I chose to see my need to exercise to keep the knee moving as something I, a fairly sedentary person, probably wouldn't have done otherwise--and a blessing.
• Forgive. Holding only resentments hurts only you. Blaming helps you avoid painful but necessary choices. (Think: What is it about ME that makes me resent that person?)
• Communicate. Ask, share, don't try to read minds or keep secrets. The more open you are the freer, and less stressful you will feel. (This does not mean that you insist that a loved one share your reality when theirs is different!)
• Accept. Accepting does not mean you have to like the changes that dementia brings. But it does make it possible to move on. Accept those changes and accept your loved one's reality when it is different from yours.
• Be generous. Giving, even if it nothing more than a compliment, feels as good to the giver as it does to the recipient. Give all you can...money, talent, time, words and touch. It all counts!

For more information about Lewy body disorders, read our books:
A Caregivers’ Guide to Lewy Body Dementia
Managing Cognitive Issues in Parkinson's and Lewy Body Dementia
Responsive Dementia Care: Fewer Behaviors Fewer Drugs
Lewy Body Dementia Manual for Staff

Helen and James Whitworth are not doctors, lawyers or social workers. As informed caregivers, they share the information here for educational purposes only. It should never be used instead of a professional's advice.